VOICEOVER: I’ve been expecting you. I know you woke up thinking today was an ordinary day. Well, you couldn’t have been more wrong. I’m Adonis, the based god of desire and beauty, and today I’m your white rabbit. Follow me, if you will, down the rabbit hole. And by the end of this journey, you’ll be a true ladies man. So if you’re ready, let’s get started. The first thing you’ll need to do is put on some pants. I can see, yeah. You need to cover that up.
Now I need to get you up to speed in mastering your presentation and I’m not talking about a slideshow. I’ve only ever seen one person pull off the elusive slide-show presentation on why a woman should let him buy her a drink. It just had one slide that said, I’ll buy you two. I’m talking about your physical presentation. You see, before a girl gets to know you she judges you by the way you present yourself. This is why your presentation is key. And by your presentation I mean: the way you dress, speak, your interests, passion, and physique. So what are you working with? Well, I know what you’re working with. I’m a god after all. You, however, need to consider it carefully. What you should be working with is good hygiene, regular grooming, a gym body, an interesting life and a good fashion sense. It’s all basic stuff, but in life, you need a solid foundation in order to build a solid foundation in order to build booty mountain.
Let’s start with fashion. I hate when you leave home looking like trash. If Dumpster is the look you’re going for, it needs to stop. Rock a style that represents you, but keep it fresh. Look at what’s hot and find a way to make it your own. It’s more about how you wear it than what you wear. So always make it your own. Okay? Less is more and more is too much. If you have more accessories than Barbie than you might want to rethink your life. That’s why I recommend having a good collection of simple classics. It goes without saying that you should dress your age. You shouldn’t be wearing sweater vests, I don’t care what Macklemore said.
I remember the last time you were well dressed. You sure felt good. You were oozing that wonderful emotion called “confidence”. Do you remember? Okay, well, I want you to always dress on point to maintain that confidence. Are you with me? Good. I need you to focus, it’s important. Close “Chrome Incognito” and pay attention.
If you’re all about saving or you’re just low on cash. Do your shopping at the end of every season. In other words, buy Summer clothes at the end of summer and save them up for next summer. Do the same for Winter and Spring. You’ll be amazed by the amount of cash you’ll save. Cash you could then use to spend on your passion. No! Passion was not the keyword for you to drop them pants. You need to learn to read signs better.
Anyways, if you’re interested in dating girls like The Supremes you’ll have to be about it. Get off Snapchat and get involved in something that you’re passionate about. Something that will take you outside. Maybe become a DJ. Promote parties. Whatever tickles your fancy. Your passion will be a major point of connection with the opposite sex. It’s what you want, right? That deep connection to get your groove on. Of course, you do!
Okay, Supremes! Give me a thumbs up if you’re insanely attracted to a fit body. The Supremes are especially attracted to a built chest, arms legs, and six pack abs. In fact, one hundred percent of guys reported an eighty percent increase in female attention after working out three days a week for one year. Yes, yes. I know, working out is hard. But it’s also really fun once you get into it. Put in the work and you won’t regret it. You’ll ladies man so well that you’ll be surprised at yourself. Trust me! You do trust me, don’t you?
Working out will give a giant boost to your confidence. That confidence, it will help when you approach hot girls like The Supremes. It’s true that all men are created equal, but some are created more equal than others. You might have a longer road to travel. You might have to put in more work at this than someone else, but you’ll get there. Don’t be discouraged. Stick with it. After all, you have the God of beauty and desire on your side and there are beautiful things at the end of the rabbit hole. Really? Wow. You didn’t take your pants off that time. I totally thought you know what, nevermind. I’m proud of you.
Next tip is a big one. So do yourself a favor and control your body odor. The fastest way to repel hot chicks is by smelling like you sold your ass to the devil. I know, I know. This is some basic stuff, but a shockingly high number of guys walk about smelling like a skunk. Bad breath and all. Oftentimes, they’re not even aware of it. You like to work, hard, and play hard, all I’m asking is that you scrub hard too.