Avoid dating disaster: The top questions to never ask
While the first date is all about getting to know each other, your companion shouldn’t be bombarded with enough questions to rival a “Law & Order” interrogation. Avoid these questions and you’ll have a better shot at date #2.
“Am I attractive to you?” Stop fishing for compliments. They wouldn’t be on a date with you otherwise!
“Am I your type?” This automatically creates a no-win situation. If you are their type, you’ll fume at the thought of being compared to all of their exes. If you’re not, you’ll feel insecure that you don’t measure up. You’ll find out soon enough if you’re their type so don’t jump the gun.
Ladies, don’t ask “When will I see you again?” If he hasn’t brought it up by now, chances are he won’t. At least, not for anything serious.
“Do we have a future?” This is a completely ridiculous question to ask if you’ve just started dating. It’s also a surefire way to scare someone off.
Men, never ask “Are your parents still together?” and follow it up with “Because family is very important to me.” This is just plain stupid. You aren’t dating her parents and whether her parents are married or not are no indication of her own level of happiness. Her family may include a drunk mother, a bipolar father and a sister who chooses to sleep in a coffin but that doesn’t mean she’s any less relationship worthy.
“Are your breasts real?” Guys, women would never ask, “Is your penis as small as your hands?” We may be thinking it, but we at least try not to stare at your crotch.
“Do you own a home?” Tacky! No matter what your reason for asking, it just sounds like you are trying to assess their finances. If you must know, don’t follow it up with “Where?” Show some restraint.
“Why don’t we meet at Starbuck’s?” It cold, cheap and has no privacy. What’s sexy about being surrounded by studying students, soccer moms, and loud coffee grinders? Show some class.
“How many people have you slept with?” Regardless of the number they give; you probably won’t believe them anyway. Subconsciously, you’ll judge them for being promiscuous or inexperienced. Unless you’re looking for a virgin, do past partners really matter?
“How do you feel about sex on the first date?” If you wake up in bed with them the next morning, you’ve got your answer.
“Can you drive me home?” I love when men send their friends home because they’re so sure they’ve got a shot with me, never stopping to check if I was actually interested. Even if I met you at a friend’s house, I don’t know you!
“Will you buy me a drink?” Girls, you should know better! You should never have to ask. If he hasn’t offered, “he’s just not that into you”. Or cheap. Either way, you should be out having a good time on your own dime. You earned it, girl!
“What do your parents do?” Grow up! Who cares what their parents do? This should only be your concern if you think gold-diggers have the right idea.
“What do you do?” People aren’t defined by their professions. Asking this right off the bat is an automatic turn-off since it feels like they’re being sized up. People need a couple minutes to relax before they’re comfortable enough to talk about their lives. Be creative! Ask questions about art, travel, even their favorite Saturday morning cartoons.
Remember, the first date should be an ice breaker, not an interview.
Make it an Excuse Free life and always remember, “it’s not the size of the problem, but the size of the feeling!”
Dr. Leslie Seppinni, a Marriage Family Therapist and Doctor of Clinical Psychology, is here to help with all of life’s obstacles, using her Excuse Free no-nonsense approach to counseling psychology, crisis intervention and life coaching.
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